Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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