Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
