haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
