I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
