After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
