I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
