I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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