I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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