I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize