god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
