I'd wear matching sweaters with you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Watching her eat just hurts me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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