he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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