so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
