just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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