Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
