EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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