is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
