she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
