I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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