cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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