we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
