I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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