After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
