Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
