No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We need to get me chipped asap
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Two words: nipple clamps
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