dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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