so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
