Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
