she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
