My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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