Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
