youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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