thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
even my farts smell like vagina
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
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between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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