guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
