she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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