I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
