I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
