how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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