My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
