dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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