1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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