I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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