Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just pee around me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
