I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
