I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
As shirtless as possible
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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