its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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