Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
