Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Screwed.edu
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
