it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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