Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
