Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
