Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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