So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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