he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
