i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
