Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool