I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
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no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me