I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola