I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
