she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
