how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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