were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just pee around me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
