I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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