Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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