I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I want is dick and wine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
