i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
