Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize