I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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