i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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