That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
