I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
