another moral hangover. fuck.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
